Being still

I recently started working out with a trainer. I have a long way to go, but my trainer is definitely pushing me to try harder things than I would on my own. One of the hardest exercises he has me do routinely is called a "plank." You get in push-up position and try to hold still for as long as you can. I try to hold it for 45 seconds to a minute several times. I was doing this exercise this morning and wondering about why it is so hard. 

It is hard to be still. 

It is hard not to move when everything around you is moving. It feels more natural to allow yourself to be swept up into the movement surrounding you than to actively decide not to move. 

I am trying to learn the intentional art of being still. 

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalm 46:10 NIV)

"Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalm 46:10 NASB)

"Stop [your fighting]—and know that I am God, exalted among the nations, exalted on the earth." (Psalm 46:10 HCSB) 

 "Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything." (Psalm 46:10 The Message)

An ordinary day

Today is not your birthday. It's not a special day. It's just an ordinary Friday. But I am overwhelmed today at the gift of being your mom and I thought I should mark the day with a post. Here are some things I love about you today:

• Singing "Ring around the Rosy" in the backyard until we all fall down and end up covered in leaves.
• The Wheels on the Bus!
• Kate's "Tinkerbell Mommy Dress." You wear this dress around the house with whatever else you have on. You even go to sleep with it on.
• Your love for your daddy. He is your hero and you just can't get enough of him. 
• Saturdays together. It's the one day the four of us have together every week and I treasure every minute.

Kiddos, I feel like life is running by so quickly right now and I'm always trying to catch up. I always worry that the time and attention I give you is not enough. I'm so thankful to God for filling in the gaps. I love you both more than words could ever express.

In God we trust

Every letter I ever got from my grandmother had the words "In God we trust" written across the back of the envelope. I got the news tonight that she passed from this world into the arms of Jesus. I can't help but reflect on the importance of those words to her. 

My Gram started telling me about Jesus before I could walk or talk. Every time I spent with her as a child was filled with stories from the Bible and she never missed an opportunity to tell me that Jesus loved me. I could believe in Jesus' love because I believed so strongly in her love. 

She was a feisty woman. When we were kids, she came to all of our games, recitals, etc. If she didn't agree with a call that an umpire or coach made, she wasn't afraid to tell them. She was our biggest fan. 

For the longest time, I thought she wrote "In God we trust" on her letters because she was really patriotic. While I don't doubt her love for America, I think now that she wrote that as a testimony to her faith that God was trustworthy all the time, no matter what. 

In all my life, I never saw her faith in God waver. I never saw her miss an opportunity to share God's love. I'm so glad she had the occasion to meet and hold both of my children. I will always treasure this picture as I share with Kate and John Parker the legacy she leaves behind. An unwavering faith in a trustworthy and always-loving God. 

I already miss you so much, Gram. I can't wait to dance with you on the streets of heaven.

Gram with Kate and John Parker, Christmas 2010

A little man at 18 months

Dear Little Man,

You are 18-months old today! I can't believe how fast time is flying by. Last night I was really getting on to you for throwing your food on the floor. I made you pick up every piece and put it back on your plate. I was trying to be so stern with you, but you kept looking at me with your big blue eyes and I just wanted to give you a big hug and a kiss. You are strong, physically and mentally, and I know you're going to keep me on my toes. You bring so much joy into our lives. Here are some of the things I want to remember about you at 18 months:

• You go to sleep most nights about 7:30 and you wake up around 7 a.m. (actually you wake up around 5 a.m., but we give you a cup of milk and you play for a bit and go back to sleep). Usually you are so tired at night from playing all day long that you go right to sleep. 
• You are so, so strong. The other day you pulled a cable outlet completely out of the wall behind your crib. You love to climb stairs and play, play, play outside.
• You are starting to talk more all the time. You call Alli "Ya-ya." Other words you say are "Momma, dada, ball, bubble, and book." I'm sure there are lots of other words you're trying to say. We're learning your language :)
• You don't care much for television or videos. Sometimes you'll watch for a few minutes, but you'd rather be playing.
• You eat most things now. You love fresh fruit, peas, chicken, hot dogs. We haven't really found much you don't like at this age.
• You love your sister. You like follow her around and play with whatever toy she has. She loves you too. The other night we were at Chik-fil-A and it was so sweet to hear her taking care of you in the play area. 

Little man, it's not an exaggeration to say my heart bursts with love for you. I can't even contain it all. We love you, little man!

Fro-yo with Momma

Moving upstairs

A little over three years ago, I walked down a long hallway at church and dropped my baby off for the first time in the nursery. A few months later, I left her for the first time with people I didn't know at her little preschool. It was hard, but each step of the way God has provided amazing teachers for her who have loved her and have seen in her all the amazing things we see. 

This morning at church, Kate moved to a new class, upstairs. Tomorrow morning at school, she moves to a new class, upstairs. I don't know why, but this just feels like a big step. Like everyone else in her life is seeing what I see, that she's not a baby anymore. Not even a toddler. She's a little girl. 

She rationalizes. She takes care of her little brother. Tonight in the bathtub we had a conversation about compassion. She wants to wear pink shoes and a dress to school because that's what the other little girls wear. 

I can't lie, I'm not ready to let go of the baby years yet. I miss her chubby little cheeks and fingers. But I'm already seeing the amazing plans God has for her life unfold and I can't wait to see what He has in store. So let's do this, God. Let's go upstairs. 

Kate with her little friend Isabella (left) when they were two. They're still in the same class and still great buds!

*Update*

Here they are this morning! Big girl and boy heading upstairs to their new classes.

Making memories

One night at the beach, we had the chance to take some family photos. It was such a beautiful night!

The whole family

John Parker chilling out

Kate and Dottie 

Uncle Dave and Aunt Lisa 

Kids must so confused when you let them get nice clothes dirty during photo shoots :)

Dottie and Ditto 

Momma and her girl

My dad and brother. Two great men!

My not-so-little brother

Dottie and John Parker

A stunning sunset 

Ana Maria Island

The wedding was great, but this picture of John Parker pretty much sums up how tired we all were. Luckily, we headed to the beach for a few days of fun in the sun!

We stayed in Ana Maria Island, near Bradenton. It was a beautiful little inn right across the street from the beach. Our rooms opened right onto the pool deck and one of our units had a great balcony where we could watch the sun set. It was beautiful. 

Our rooms.

On our first day there, Uncle Dave and Aunt Lisa chartered a boat for us to all take out together. I was a little apprehensive about taking the kids on the boat all day, but they did so great. We had an unforgettable day. We cruised around for most of the day.

We stopped for a while to fish and play in the water.

John Parker took a great nap.

And we pulled up to dock at a great restaurant for lunch. It was such a fun day. 

On the second day, we played most of the day on the beach. Kate has been apprehensive in the past about playing in the water, but she loved it. She played with Aunt Lisa for the longest time and loved splashing in the waves. 

John Parker took another long nap. Something about the water just knocks this kid out. 

He woke up in time to get some quality play time in. 

He spent some time hanging with Uncle Dave when we headed inside. 

Sweet Summertime

So as to not lose my sanity, there are a few promises I've had to make to myself. One is to never apologize for how long it takes me to update this blog. Life's been busy with lots of fun and good times, so I'll try to update over a few posts. I'm taking a little bit of time off this summer and it's been so great to spend extra time with the kids and Fred. We started the summer off with a fun trip to Florida. The last time we went was Christmas and we all had a stomach bug. We didn't get to see many people. This time was so much better.

We started with a visit to our dear friends in Tallahassee. This is Fred's best childhood friend and he and his sweet wife have two little girls. The kids had fun playing together and we all had a great time visiting.

We headed on to Central Florida for Uncle Earl's wedding. What a happy day!

Things you miss when everyone is well

Kate's been under the weather for the past few days and, as such, we pretty much laid low this weekend. She's not sick very often and I'd never wish for her to be sick, gut I was thinking this weekend about what we would have missed out on if she hadn't been sick.

• Watching Toy Story 3 ten times. I know you think I'm exaggerating, but I'm really not. I know this movie by heart now. I think my favorite part is when Barbie and Ken meet for the first time, "I love your leg warmers!"
• Extra snuggles and hugs. Cleaning a child up repeatedly in the middle of night seems to endear you to them in a special way. Kate's been very giving with her hugs. 
• Appreciating sleep when it comes back. I think we had started to take sleep for granted again. This weekend was a good reminder of how wonderful a good night's rest can be.
• The preciousness of seeing your child bounce back and be her normal healthy self. Seeing her run around the yard, pick on her little brother, eat two hot dogs for dinner and want to stay up late.

May those of us who have healthy children never, ever, ever take their health for granted. I see and hear of families with children who suffer from all manner of illnesses and I know "but for the grace of God go I." 

A girl and her mom

Yesterday, Kate gave me a cookie she made for me at school for Mother's Day. Then she asked if she could please eat it.

Motherhood can be a thankless job. But there is something just so special about the bond between a girl and her mom. As I sit next to my girl typing this while we watch Toy Story 3 for the zillionth time, I think about the things I want to teach her that I've learned from my mom. Things like:

• It's okay to be different. When you follow your instincts and the Lord's guidance, it's okay if that takes you in a different direction from other people, including your friends. 
• If you take care of yourself and live a healthy and balanced life, you only get more beautiful as you get older. I'm still trying to learn this one, but my mom is a great example for me. I think she gets more beautiful each year. 
• Don't take yourself too seriously. Laughing, dancing, and being a little silly are all important parts of life. 
• Don't let yourself get caught up in gossip or other things that aren't your business. I've really learned from my mom that there is nothing to be gained from this. Focus on your own life and let your words about others be complimentary. 
• Love your man. There is no one my mom would rather spend time with than my dad. Growing up, my brother and I knew we were important to my mom, but when my dad walked in the door he had her undivided attention. He still does. 
• Cheer hard for your team. My mom is very loyal - to her family, to the Gators and to her colleagues. You have to keep cheering for your team even when they're losing. If you do, you get to cheer the loudest when they start winning again. 
• Love the Lord, with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. My mom and I have started memorizing scripture together in the last few years and I think she'd agree that it's been one of our favorite journeys together. 

Mom, I love you. I hope when Kate grows up she'll love spending time with me as much as I love spending time with you. 

Happy Mother's Day!

Impatiens

We planted Impatiens this year on our patio. As I watered the plants yesterday afternoon, both of my children underfoot trying to get as wet as possible, I couldn't believe all of the buds ready to burst forth with color. With friends coming over for Easter, I delighted to think about how beautiful they'd be this weekend. They looked a little measly yesterday. 

The flowers led me to ponder Good Friday. What a strange name for one of the darkest days in history. Luke 23 describes the scene: "It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two (emphasis mine). 

In short, it was a dark, ugly time. But Jesus was not finished. When the women went to tend to his body early on the third day, they did not find him in the tomb as expected. He'd risen from the grave. He was alive. 

The name "Impatiens" is derived from the Latin "impatient." They are also known as the "touch-me-not" flower because when their seed capsules mature they explode when touched and send seeds up to several meters away. 

What am I sharing all of this? I'm not sure. It just seemed profound to me to ponder Easter and impatience together. I am impatient for so many things. Even as I whine about how fast my children are growing up, I'm impatient for them to reach the next stage. I'm impatient for the next time I get to see my extended family. I'm impatient for the time when I'll have a bigger house (or at least a bigger closet. Please, God?) But mostly, I think I'm impatient with my own maturation process. I want to be more mature and value the things of God more than the things of this world. Just like the seeds of this flower, mature people are attractive to us all. We want our lives to be touched by them.

Jesus Christ is a picture of the maturity that I think we all really seek. A life lived for others and, ultimately, laid down for those who scorned him. I have a long, long way to go. I am so thankful to have not only his example, but his love to guide me. 

My prayer for you this Easter is that you would know and experience the incomparable love of Jesus Christ. 

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:17

Going down the bayou

Yesterday was a really interesting day, learning about the natural history of the Gulf of Mexico and hearing from various scientists and public officials. This morning, we set sail for Terrebonne Bay to learn about water sampling. I took this picture yesterday, but fortunately we're actually taking a bigger boat out this morning. 

Bayou Farewell

When I first moved to Louisiana seven years ago, my friend Adrienne Moore recommended a great book to me called Bayou Farewell by Mike Tidwell.

I love this book for a number of reasons. For one, Tidwell introduced me to the problem of coastal wetlands loss in Louisiana. This is a problem for the entire U.S. Why? Let me defer to the experts: 

Louisiana wetlands are unique and vital ecological assets worth saving. Wetlands act as a storm buffer against hurricanes and storms. They act as flood control devices: holding excess floodwaters during high rainfall (much like a sponge). Wetlands replenish aquifers, and they purify water by filtering out pollutants and absorbing nutrients. Approximately 40 percent of the coastal wetlands of the lower forty-eight states are located in Louisiana. Unfortunately, this fragile environment is disappearing at an alarming rate. Louisiana has lost up to 40 square miles of marsh per year for several decades – that’s 80 percent of the nation’s annual coastal wetland loss. To date, Louisiana has already lost coastal land area equal to the size of the state of Delaware. This loss is at an average rate of an acre every 38 minutes. If the current rate of loss is not slowed by the year 2040, an additional 800,000 acres of wetlands will disappear, and the Louisiana shoreline will advance inland as much as 33 miles in some areas (Coastal Wetlands Planning, Protection and Restoration Act, 1990).

I also love this book because of Tidwell's colorful description of the people who live along the coast of Louisiana. Their livelihoods have long been in shrimp and fish, but many of them can no longer support their families. The oil spill has not helped matters. After reading Tidwell's book, I knew I wanted to visit this part of Louisiana if given the opportunity.

Last fall, I was fortunate to be part of a team granted a grant from the National Science Foundation to study how journalists can best equip themselves to cover the ongoing story of the Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill. Part of this research project involves traveling to Chauvin, Louisiana this week to take part in a workshop for journalists, scientists and informal science educators. On Thursday, we will board the Acadiana and cruise out into upper Terrebonne Bay to gain a hands-on understanding of the tools and techniques used to collect oceanographic data in the wake of the Gulf Oil Spill.

I must admit, I am a little nervous because I really don't understand all of this science. But that is the point of this workshop. To help journalists translate science for their readers so they can be more informed on the issues.

I hope to have some stories and pictures to share when I return!

Spring, spring, glorious spring

I don't normally do pictures of the kids, but I couldn't resist sharing this one. This picture represents so much joy for me. Here are just a few things I am thankful for these days:

• Seeing the kids get to know each other and learn to love each other. As they get older, they play together more. I know the fights are coming, but for now we are in a very blissful stage of siblinghood.
• Saturdays! The weeks are busy in our house and Sundays are even busier. But Saturdays are family day and I treasure every minute. Today Fred cooked breakfast for all of us. Then we took the kids to the park to play and out to lunch. They both fell asleep on the way home. 
• John Parker's new ear tubes. On Friday he had surgery to get a second set of tubes and remove his adenoids. He did great. Here's to healthier days ahead!
• Beautiful weather.
• All of the colors outside. From pink azaleas to green leaves on trees, everything's in bloom and beautiful.
• New babies on the way - not mine! We have several great friends who are pregnant after long journeys to parenthood. It is such a joy to celebrate with them. These children are truly miracles. 

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. Psalm 23:1-3

The Right Thing

Two weeks ago, Kate turned three. With kindergarten over two years away, we seem to already be talking about school a lot. When you talk with parents in Baton Rouge, school is a popular topic of conversation. The public schools have struggled and while we are hopeful that our children will have the opportunity to attend public schools like we did as children, we feel a responsibility as parents to check out all of our options.

So we visited a private elementary school last week. I have to admit, I drank the Kool-Aid immediately. Pristine playgrounds, cute little science lab coats, class pets, dance classes - the opportunities for Kate to expand her horizons seemed boundless. But I'm trying to temper my enthusiasm by thinking about education in a broad sense.

How do you measure the value of becoming friends with someone whose family is very different from your own? Can you overstate the importance of the daughter of a Christian minister becoming friends with a child from a different faith background? If we send our children to private elementary school, are we making a decision that will set them on a certain course?

The only answer I have right now to all of these questions is that God created our children and he alone knows what is right for each of them. We have to seek his wisdom to make the right decision. So that is what we'll do.

But those little white lab coats were so cute.

"Will I be older tomorrow?"

"Mommy, will I be older tomorrow?"

Kate asked me this simple, innocent, yet somewhat disturbing question tonight while I was putting her to bed. I feel like every time I turn around she's older. There are so many wonderful things about her being older. It's so much fun to take her places and we can do so many fun things together. But there are also growing pains for all of us. The other day, she told me a story of a couple of little girls excluding her on the playground. I was so mad. I think the anger really comes from knowing I'm not in control. I want to follow her around and make sure everyone in the world sees the wonderful, sweet girl I know. But I realize that everyone experiences pain and hurt and she is not immune.

Will I be older tomorrow? I definitely am tonight :)

From the Bumpy Road

I've been thinking about some changes to this blog for some time. We are the "Gators from Tiger Country,"  but I didn't think that was the best identity for the blog. A few months back, I thought of this idea. I grew up on a rural road in Florida that some of my family members lovingly refer to as "the bumpy road." Sometimes, when the limestone road really needed grinding, you would hit a bump and you weren't sure what direction your car (or your bike) would take you. 

I think that's a pretty good description of our life right now. Don't get me wrong - we have a great, great life. But there are bumps. There are questions. We are juggling a lot and trying to live a life that brings glory to God. It can be hard to be transparent about the bumps. It's more fun to talk about the birthdays, anniversaries, fun trips, etc. But life is about both. 

I hope you enjoy reading about our journey. Come along for the ride!

"K-K Reesa"

Dear Kate,

Three years ago tonight, I tried to sleep but sleep wouldn't come. Nine months flew by and the day was finally upon us. What would you look like? What kind of personality would you have?

My sweet girl, you bring more joy to my life than I ever thought possible. Every morning, I look forward to seeing your smile as you peak around the covers with your crazy, curly hair. Your laugh is contagious and your generous, kind heart is so beautiful. Like me, you have a running soundtrack of music in your head.  Like your dad, you are very detail-oriented and very busy all of the time.

Katherine Theresa Lundy, or "K-K Reesa" as you say, only God knows what year 4 holds but we can't wait to see it all unfold. Mommy loves you, sweet girl!

An everyday cathedral

"The world I live in is loud and blurring and toilets plug and I get speeding tickets and the dog gets sick all over the back step and I forget everything and these six kids lean hard into me all day to teach and raise and lead and I fail hard and there are real souls that are at stake and how long do I really have to figure out how to live full of grace, full of joy – before these six beautiful children fly the coop and my mothering days fold up quiet?  How do you open the eyes to see how to take the daily, domestic, workday vortex and invert it into the dome of an everyday cathedral?"

Ann Voskamp, 1000 Gifts

I've been reading this book and it's one of the best books I've read in a very long time. It's beautiful poetry. It's so relevant to my current journey in life, striving to see beauty in and be thankful for everything in life. I can't recommend this book highly enough. 

John Parker, you are 1!

Dear John Parker,

You are one today! I can't believe how quickly this day came. There were many, many moments during those first few months when I wondered if we'd ever make it to today. As I think back on this first year of your life, I have a few special memories. Some are just for me to remember and ponder, but a few I thought others might enjoy reading:

• Our first date! Holding you moments after delivery and realizing you had red, red hair just like your dad. They sent you to the NICU for a few hours because you weren't really crying, just grunting and growling. Turns out, that's your happy sound! You still start growling happily as soon as you wake up (hard to describe, but cute to anyone who has heard him do it).
• Realizing you had jaundice straight out of the gate. Just like your big sister, you spent your first week in the tanning bed. You did just fine and we sent that bili-bed packing as soon as we could.
• Your reflux diagnosis! It sounds crazy, but that was a happy, happy day in our house. You cried at all hours for weeks leading up to that appointment. As soon as you started taking reflux medication, we realized what an amazing personality you have. It was so nice to meet you, finally! You didn't have to do the meds for too long, but we were so thankful for them when needed.
• Seeing you grow to know your big sister and love her. Just this weekend I watched you chase her around the backyard. She thinks you're pretty special too ;)
• Your baby dedication. What a special day to dedicate your life to the Lord and thank Him for the blessing of your life. Your dad and I pray that you will love Jesus above everything else in this life. 
• Your sip-and-see in Florida. What a great day! You finally got to meet your family and friends from Florida.
• Seeing you start at your preschool (bittersweet) and make friends. Everyone loves you there! You have a great friend Louis who was born the same month as you. You guys are so cute together. 
• Rocking you each night while I give you your final bottle of the day. You never stop moving all day long until those few moments when it's just me and you.

Little man, I can't think of words to tell you how special you are to me. I've learned so much this year and I've grown in so many ways right along with you. I thank God for the blessing of your life. Watching you grow brings me indescribable joy. 

Happy Birthday Sweetest Boy!